Marital Status – Why Does it Matter?

For some time, I’ve been questioning why I must have specific labels on the tools I use almost daily in my personal and professional life. A man’s marital status is ‘Mr’, whether he’s married or anything else. Whilst I know I could use ‘MS’, I don’t align with that term either. From what I’ve read, ‘MS’ became popular in the 1960s for women who didn’t want to be defined by their relationships with men. It’s 2021, and I don’t want to be defined by my relationships, period! What’s wrong with using my name with NO honorifics’. I don’t have an academic title; if I did have one, I might feel different.

Bank cards: Why do a lot of banks still push you to have Mr, Mrs, Ms on your cards? It’s my money, and it doesn’t protect me from fraudulent transactions. Most cards have labels that stipulate marital status for women: why?

Mobile phone: I recently purchased a smart device. I couldn’t complete the transaction unless I ticked my marital status: why?

Gym: A few weeks ago, I joined a gym, and when filling out the form, I consciously left ‘title’ blank. When my membership came through, they had kindly added Mrs for me: Why?

My banking details, passport, driving license, mobile phone, gym membership etc., are mine, and mine alone. I have had many debates with my bank, and some cards have my name with no honorifics; others do, and that continues to frustrate me.

Who I am, what I am, and my journey thus far is down to me? Yes, it is! Granted, with a lot of help and support from my friends, family, allies, ambassadors, and partner – however, how I present myself is up to me and not something that should be forced on me because of archaic thinking and processes.

I want choices that are not limited because the computer says no. Those choices should be continually revisited by the organisations that bake them into their tools. One size does not fit all – it’s time for a change.