The Beautiful Ones

I’ve always had a fascination with Egypt. I think it started when I was a kid after reading Arthur C. Clarke’s Mysterious World. I’m an animal lover and grew up having cats and dogs. I fell in love with Siamese cats when I watched Lady and the Tramp. I still sing the song ‘We are Siamese’. My first pets as an adult were two adorable Siamese cats Nefertiti and Rameses. I loved their quirkiness and the characteristics that made them unique. I knew I wanted to name them after a King and Queen of Egypt. Rameses’s name was originally going to be Akhenaten, but I learned he was not viewed as a good King during my research, so I went firm with Rameses.

Nefertiti and Rameses were at the centre of my life for 16 years. I was their human mother, and I was the centre of their lives. I wished I wasn’t because it made travelling for work and going on holidays more stressful for me, and sometimes for them. They were with me throughout so many happy and unhappy times in my life. Nefertiti was two years old before she trusted me enough to pick her up. She was skittish and was always on high alert and on the lookout for danger. Rameses was more chilled and outgoing.

Ex’s have told me that I was like Nefertiti (which I’ve decided is a compliment); that I was aloof, untrusting, and always ready for something to go pear-shaped. I disagreed; I saw them as creatures who had clear boundaries and were clear about what they did and didn’t like. Love from a cat is not unconditional, you must earn it, and they need to trust you implicitly before embracing you in their world.

I always viewed them as my furry babies, and it wasn’t until their 16th year after the vet kept calling them geriatric cats during our frequent visits that I had to accept that maybe they weren’t babies anymore. I honestly thought that the time I had left with them was bountiful. Unfortunately, both of them started to deteriorate, with Nefertiti going downhill first. Nefertiti was put to sleep on 21st July 2020 at 1700hrs.

The pain of losing her was excruciating. Writing this now is making my heart hurt very much, and I’m finding it difficult to type. I wasn’t ready for her to die. The logical part of me knows that I would never be prepared, but love lives and works outside of logic. Lisa the vet, was terrific, and she handled me so well. I am the stereotypical crazy cat lady, after all. I couldn’t bare to part with my baby girl and decided that she would be cremated so I could bring her back home with me. She came home 48hrs later, and I put her on her spot on the sofa with me, Rameses and I stayed there with her. I slept on the sofa for a couple of days, and I know I was a complete nightmare to be around for the humans in the house.

Shortly after Nefertiti died (I say she died not passed away because her death was sudden and cruel for her and me), Rameses started to go downhill. He’d call out for her at all times of the day and night. He’d pace the house at night and come by my bed, and howl at me. I’m convinced he was looking for his friend. I tried everything to make him feel better, and nothing worked. This, on top of his existing illness, was impacting him massively. I saw the writing on the wall, and the first thing I did when I opened my eyes every morning, was to check that he was still breathing. This went on for a couple of weeks, and throughout his illness continued to become more of a problem for him.

On 21st September, Rameses had to go to the animal hospital because of neurological problems. At midnight, the vet called me to tell me he had perked up, and I felt hope that this wasn’t his time to go. However, the vet called me again in the morning, and I received the update I’d been dreading. Rameses was put to sleep on 22nd September at 1520hrs. Both my babies were gone, and I was inconsolable with grief, angry and just massively pissed off. I played back all the events preceding their deaths, to work out if I could have done anything differently to change the outcome. Of course, I knew it was a futile exercise to put myself through, but I was grief-stricken, and the pain was just unbearable.

I firmly believe Rameses died of a broken heart, which was exacerbated by his illness. I also know part of me died with them. 11 months on, and I still find it hard to look at pictures of them. Videos of them are still a no-no! The vet, Lisa, reminded me that the pandemic gave me so much more time with them because I wasn’t travelling for work anymore. Whilst I know this is true, and I am grateful for that fact – I would sacrifice ANYTHING to have them with me today.

Nefertiti and Rameses’s ashes reside in a fluffy white igloo, close to me in the house. This is where they will stay until it’s my time, and we can be together again. I’ve always called Nefertiti and Rameses ‘The Beautiful Ones’, one of my favourite Prince tracks.

To be continued…